ohheyyy:

(via artsymusicalgeek, foidanschaos)

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wow, i haven’t done this in a while. just remembered and thankfully i have a lot to write about this time. it helps me sort my thoughts out like an online blog is supposed to do and that really i guess gives me a sense of purpose or at least some kind of sense of achievement.

my life:
where to begin. oh i know. i got engaged! yes, tumblr. me, myself and i are engaged to my lovely boy. since boy and i talked it out and what not we realized it was stupid for us to break up in the first place and we have decided to get married. so that’s the most exciting thing that happened in my life. other than that there are general frustrations. i don’t really know where to begin. there’s this wedding i have to plan and now i don’t know anything about what i want, or what i want to do or a theme or a bridemaid or anything. i have no idea, and every freaking planner i went to was full, or had no time for me, which doesn’t make me feel to great but i’m still working on it. boy and i on the other hand have never been better. we’re so emotionally and physically connected now and it really gives me a sense of what i want in life. since things are going really well with him, we’re being really open with one another and what not, so this makes me happy.

otherwise:
okay so i have these two “friends”. and i know they both love each other a lot, like as in a lot a lot. and i feel really stupid because i finally showed them both that they really do love each other only for that to blow up in my face. it’s not their fault’s really, it’s just that the girl is a bit of a slut, which i’m being honest cannot be good in a relationship and the guy has the most random mood swings and one day he loves her and the next it’s like i’m not really sure how i feel about you. you know when you have that feeling that if the two of these people just fucking open their eyes and realize that they love one another, they could really work, it’s one of those situations, and i’m so confused and lost on what i’m supposed to do for either of them.
the girl is like crazy suicidal and depressed and i don’t really know what’s wrong with the guy other than being totally undecided about everything in his life. i just want them to be happy because when they’re together, and happy, they’re two of the coolest people ever, and i wish i could show them but even i’m human. and i hope that they realize how much they love one another, and they do something about it because both of them are going to be shit miserable in the future.

of course this could just be my and my stupid instincts going heywire, but still. i mean one can always hope, right. i guess..i hope they get together. no one would be happier than me.

for now this is all i have to share. i’m going to tumblr a bit more a little later, but for now i’m going to go and do something else. maybe watch some tv or something, i don’t know.
i miss that boy and that girl that i was talking about earlier.

i miss you, please come back to me.

i don’t even know what to feel. everytime i talk to you, i feel like i’ve made the hugest mistake of my life letting you go. i don’t know what to think. you’re the only person up until now who can make me feel like i’m amazing, and you’re the only person who gives me these crazy butterflies. i’m so scared to fully get over you. i’m so scared that it will go away and i’ll never feel this way about anyone else. i know i won’t. i mean, i know i’m never going to be over you fully, so i’ve stopped trying.

i’m just glad that you’ve moved on. moved on to someone better. someone who can give you things i never could. i wish that you would come back to me, i wish it everyday. to hear those words coming out of your mouth. those four words, the ones that when i think about them, make me stop breathing. I still love you. but i’m probably just being silly and juvenile.

okay.